How to bless your spouse

Ben and I have the wonderful opportunity to do premarital counseling with young couples ever now and then. We are in the mist of one of those times. I absolutely love to get together each week and talk with each couple, it's always such a refresher course for me (I hope it is Ben too).
One thing that we always go over with the couple is 7 Ways to Bless Your Wife and 5 Ways to Bless Your Husband. Notice there are two more ways for the wife :)

I would share the link, but there isn't one. This is something we have from one of Ben's Seminary professors and I'm pretty sure it came from a book, but not a clue which one. So here it goes....

7 Ways to Bless Your Wife
A husband can be a blessing to his wife by loving her as Christ loved the Church & giving her specific gifts of love:

1. Be a spiritual leader
Be a man of courage, conviction, commitment, compassion, and character. Take the initiative in cultivating a spiritual environment for the family. Become a capable and competent student of God's Word and live out before all a life founded on the Word of God. Lead your wife in becoming a woman of God, and take the lead in training the children in the things of the Lord. (Psalm 1; Ephesians 5:23-27)

2. Give her personal affirmation/appreciation
Praise her for personal attributes and qualities. Praise her virtues as a wife, mother and homemaker. Openly commend her, in the presence of others, as a marvelous mate, friend, lover, and companion. Help her feel that, to you, no one is more important in this world. (Proverbs 31:28-29; Song of Solomon 4:1-7, 6:4-9, 7:1-9)

3. Show personal affection (Romance)
Shower her with timely and generous displays of affection. Tell her how much you care for her with a steady flow of words, cards, flowers, gifts and common courtesies. Remember, affection is the environment in which sexual union is enjoyed and a wonderful marriage developed. (Song of Solomon 6:10, 13; Ephesians 5:28-29, 33)

4. Initiate intimate conversation
Talk with her at the feeling level (heart to heart). Listen to her thoughts (i.e. her heart) about the events of her day with sensitivity, interest, and concern. Conversations with her convey a desire to understand her not to change her (Song of Solomon 2:8-14, 8:13-14; 1 Peter 3:7)

5. Always be honest and open
Look into her eyes and, in love, always tell the truth (Ephesians 4:15). Explain your plans and actions clearly and completely because you are responsible for her. Lead her to trust you and feel secure (Proverbs 15:22-23)

6. Provide home support and stability
Take hold of the responsibility to house, feed, and clothe the family. Provide and protect, and do not feel sorry for yourself when things get tough. Look for concrete ways to improve home life. Raise the marriage and family to a safer and more fulfilling level. Remember, the husband/father is the security hub of the family. (2 Timothy 5:8).

7. Demonstrate family commitment
After the Lord Jesus, put your wife and family first. Commit time and energy to spiritual, moral and intellectual development of the children. For example, pray with them (especially at night by the bedside), read to them, engage in sports with them and take them on other outings. Do not play the fool's game of working long hours, trying to get ahead, while your children and spouse languish in neglect (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:19-20).

5 Ways to Bless Your Husband
A wife can be a blessing to her husband by honoring him as the Church honors Christ and giving him specific gifts of love.

1. Give him admiration and respect
Work to understand and appreciate his value and achievements as his wife. Remind him of his capabilities and gifts and help him maintain his walk with God and also his self-confidence. Be proud of your husband, not out of duty, but as an expression of sincere admiration for the man you love and with whom you have chosen to share your life (Ephesians 5:22-23, 33).

2. Provide sexual fulfillment
Become an excellent sexual partner to him. Study your own response to recognize and understand what brings out the best in you; then communicate this information to your husband, and together learn to have a sexual relationship that you both find repeatedly satisfying and enjoyable (Proverbs 5:15-19; Song of Solomon 4:9-5:1; 1 Corinthians 7:1-5; Hebrews 13:4)

3. Cultivate home support
Create a home that offers him an atmosphere of peace and quiet and refuge. Manage the home and care of the children. The home should be a place of rest and rejuvenation. Remember, the wife/mother is the emotional hub of the family (Proverbs 9:13, 13:9, 21:9, 19, 25:24)

4. Strive to be an attractive wife
Pursue inner and outer beauty in that order. Cultivate a Christlike spirit in your inner self. Keep yourself physically fit with diet and exercise, wear your hair, makeup, and clothes in a way that your husband finds attractive and tasteful. Let your husband be pleased and proud of you in public, but also in private (Song of Solomon 1:8-10, 2:2, 6:13-7:9; 1 Peter 3:1-5)

5. Become his best friend
Develop mutual interests with your husband. Discover those activities your husband enjoys the most and seek to become proficient in them. If you learn to enjoy them, join him in them. If you do not enjoy them, encourage him to consider others that you can enjoy together. Become your husband's best friend so that he repeatedly associates you with the activities he enjoys most (Song of Solomon 8:1-2,6).