I've always thought I was a hospitable person. I really do enjoy having people in my home. I don't mind the cleaning or the fixing of snacks or even a full course meal. Since moving into our East Lake home last Oct. Ben and I made the decision that Monday nights would be our hospitality night. Each week we invite people into our home either from the neighborhood or from our faith family who are interested in serving or moving to East Lake. We also take time about with others hosting small group in our home on Thurs. nights as well as a few weekend mornings hosting small groups from Brook Hills. This past Sunday morning, we hosted (including lunch) 16 adults and 22 children. I have to say it turned out great! Little chaotic, but great!
Through this I have learned something about myself. I really do enjoy having people in our home, BUT.... on my terms. I set when people come over therefore I enjoy every minute of the process. Living in this community sometimes when there is a knock at my door, it's unexpected, I didn't plan or invite for that knock to be. Ben works with several people from the neighborhood and brings them into our home sometimes with only a 5 minute notice to his wife. I don't get upset or start to panic (we'll ok sometimes or most of the time I do - let's be honest here). However, the 5 minute "warning" is something I'm getting used to and if Ben can give more of a heads up he will. Thing is much of the "poverty culture" is spur of the moment. There is no planning that takes place. I am a planner - a month in advance planner. All these situations have really made me realize something about myself. I see my pride. My selfishness. My day is now interrupted. Past few times it's right at dinner time when we'll have a surprise guest. Therefore I'm scrounging to put something together for us to all eat. Not something anyone requires or even asks for, but as the wife/homeowner I feel it's my responsibility. They are in my home, it's dinner time and I want to serve. Even though I want to be hospitable it's NOT my attitude. I try to hide it, but sometimes I don't think I do a very good job at hiding the frustration.
I also have a very nice, big, well functioning kitchen that I said I "needed" when we bought the house. My wonderful husband worked with me and I got this.
It really has been wonderful to have when cooking for lots of people or just having the room to hold lots of people to stand around and socialize. Thing is I have offered the use of my kitchen to others in the neighborhood. Trying to be hospitable. Thinking it would be on my terms when they use it. Hasn't been the case. Yes, I have said no when they call & ask if they can cook in my kitchen, but I can't say no every time. One afternoon after hours of cooking, I was getting tired, we were having great conversation, but my mind went here....I have dinner to put on the table, baths to give, house to clean up, and kids to get in the bed and "you" are still in my kitchen cooking at 7:00pm (you got here at 2:00!). Why can't "you" go to "your" own apt. with "your" stove. Right after that this entered my mind.... in "your" apt. where there is no conversation, prob. no one to listen to what "you" have to say, and no love shown "your" way. Something I was also trying to provide, even though it was getting harder for me as the hours went by.
So at 9 p.m. when we're finally done for the day and my kitchen sink looks like this
My hospitality attitude, well it just down right stinks.
So I pray. Pray that I realize my pride, my selfishness. Pray I realize my blessings and how I am to show the love of Christ, to everyone, even when my sinfulness shows it's ugly face.
